Upskill your life
-To all the nice guys, be nice but don’t simp.
When people already perceive you as intelligent, it becomes much easier to pass your message across.
Your mannerism, confidence & cadence heavily influence how you’re perceived, and they are qualities you control.
You Need 5 Hobbies.
1. One to make you money
2. One to keep you in shape
3. One to keep you creative
4. One to build knowledge
5. One to evolve your mindset
Women’s snappy comebacks, weeuhh!
Man : Haven’t we met before?
Woman : Yes, am the receptionist at the VD Clinic.
Man : Haven’t i seen you someplace before?
Woman : Yeah, that’s why i don’t go there anymore.
Man : Is this seat empty?
Woman : Yes, and this one will be too if u sit down.
Man : So, wanna go back to my place?
Woman : Well i don’t know. Will two ppl fit under a rock?
Man : Your place or mine?
Woman : Both. You go to urs and i’ll go to mine.
Man : I’d like to call u. What’s ur number?
Woman : It’s in the phone book.
Man : But i don’t know yur name,
Woman : That’s in the phone book too.
Weeh, hii mambo ni gani!
The Word “dinner” comes from the French word “disner,” which means “breakfast.”
We uko na talent kweli?
Kwa hii life usikuwe mtu useless. Kama uko na talent explore it. Either unachora( but si kuchora form), ama unacheza futa, or you are a dancer, or any other talent, just do your thing. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Insha za primary (◔‿◔)
What was the highest that you ever scored in insha? Mine was 29/40. Not bad right ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ.
What I love about writing is that you can express yourself in ways that you want. Sana sana hizo ma-vocabulary za wahenga (◠‿◕). They were nice-ing.
The insha that has been in my mind since was this, “Ama kweli, wahenga na wahenguzi hawakutupaka mafuta kwenye mgongo wa chupa wala kutochana nywele na mifupa ya samaki waliponena kuwa, mtaka cha mvunguni sharti ainame.”
Nipee compo yako.
Short hair ladies( ◜‿◝ )♡
I know pia wewe unataka ku-keep short hair but Shida ni kisogo. From the pictures, there is a difference. Lakini pia kusuka nywele inakaa ovyo. No offense but you look good with your natural hair.
I hate this guys
The moment inaanza kunishika inaniboo. It’s like it is requesting a death sentence. Unapiga kofi ingine haijawahi ona.
I love Aziza H when she says ‘jameni’
Azeezah_h, is her username on Instagram-if you want to look into her profile. Her voice is fantabulous. Though she looks different from the way she sounds in my imagination.
Something to note down
So saad!
Hii generation yetu ni noma. No one wants to work, but rather to party. I wonder why people praise themselves about how good they are at ‘kupiga sherehe’ , forgetting the harmful effects of alcohol and drug abuse. That is stupid.
Vienyejis’ are the best!
And I repeat again, kukuwa na dem mmoja kienyeji ni the biggest flex that a man should have. They can improve only if they had money. So usiwaone hivo.
Kamnyweso, seriously!
The rate at our Kenyan artists are singing about alcohol is shangaza-ring!-oh I mean alarming. Si heri uimbie dem yako kuliko uimbie something that will kill you eventually. Or you want to argue with me that there is better things to sing for? But I digrace. This song by Kaligraph Jones and Mejja is a banger! What are your thoughts?
(*_*) it’s funny to think that…
Mkate na soda mnaita food and drinks. You guys are hilarious.
Fun facts
Before anesthesia, speed was essential to minimize pain and improve the odds of survival.
Robert Liston, a British surgeon who excelled at this, once performed a surgery, during which he moved so fast that he took an assistant’s fingers off when cutting through a leg. Both the patient and the assistant later died of infection, and one spectator died of shock. This was the only known surgery in history that had a 300% mortality rate.
Bigger Dreams, Talk it and Walk it
Some music artist said that,”If you want a bigger cake you’ll need a bigger plate.” You need to have a dream, a big dream. A bigger dream that scares you. You need to follow that dream because you can do this!
Niliacha kupiga sunset ju yako
The sunset is an indication that your story can have a beautiful ending.
Don’t disturb
The way I put my phone in silence mode as if someone will call me is absurd. I tell myself everyday to ‘wake up!’
It’s just a fantasy
I swear the plan was to stay single, but then i saw her smile
Weird facts
In 2006, CNN included Mark Zuckerberg and the founder of Netflix in its list of “Ten People Who Don’t Matter”
In 1986, a French woman studied for months so she could learn how to fly a helicopter Then she rented one, flew it over a prison, and grabbed her husband, who had robbed a bank, from the prison’s roof.
The fastest of all land mammals
The cheetah can reach speeds of up to 110 km/h in 3 seconds
The sickest pick-up line ever!
Some people are insane, what the hell!
Read this story
The doctor gave me 3 days to live so I killed the doctor then the judge gave me 70 years.
Nimejua hii jana tu
In Lucifer series, Tom Ellis-the one playing Lucifer’s character, knows a little about playing the piano. But atleast he knows how to sing.
If you begin your prayer this way, you have a long way to go
People be like, “Let’s bow down for a word of prayer.”
Now this is the correct grammar- let’s bow down for a prayer. This is because while praying, you use words.
Time is flying manze
This song called ‘inetkei’ by Lilian Rotich was released in 2010. It went viral in 2016.
